They Are... The Most Interesting Couple Alive

or so they obviously think. 

i went with a friend (whose husband is out of town) to a wine and snacks get-together with a new couple in her neighbourhood.  actually, it's the woman who lives in the neighbourhood.  the man lives elsewhere.  but that's another story.  or, actually, part of this story, but that comes later.

anyway.  it was my friend c, me, and this couple.  they were nice, and served all the wine we could drink (i only had two glasses, though they gladly would have kept pouring me more), and we were there til nearly one a.m. 

mostly because they just never. stopped. talking.  about themselves.  constantly. 

it was quite funny to me, to be honest.  i mean, i know i've done some cool and impressive things--i've lived great places, holidayed in amazing global spots, achieved academic success and rankings, all kinds of interesting stuff.  but i don't think i'm all that cool.  i've had some cool experiences, and i've loved them.  but it doesn't make me any more or less interesting than other people.  well, maybe a little more than some people, but not just by default.  everyone has interesting things they've done, and everyone has entertaining stories to tell, and everyone has something to contribute to a conversation. 

not with this couple, though.  they are the coolest people they've ever met, and no matter what else you might have done, it's only interesting to them for about three mintues.  after that, it's back to them.  because they are...the coolest people alive.  ever.  and they want to make sure that you hear all about every thing they've ever done or thought.  repeatedly. 


for instance.  'when we lived in chicago'... 'when we visited bermuda'... 'when we went to her high school reunion'... 'when we were so drunk we'... on. and on. and on. 

they've been dating for more than a decade.  years.  that's a pretty long time.  'it's either the best one-night stand, or the worst one-night stand, depending on your perspective,' she says, 'because it just keeps going, forever.'  honestly?  that just doesn't make sense to me.  at some point, you either say 'let's spend our lives together' and move in or get married (i personally lean toward the latter, but i respect that some people do not) or you say 'this has been fun, but...'   apparently, fun is enough for them.  they both own their own homes, and have no intention of moving in together.  they move where the other moves, as far as jobs allow (which is how they wound up here, where i am).  they consider each other's family their family (to a degree... i'm not sure he likes being grandpa to her kid's kid, because he's not that old, really).  they do pretty much everything together.  except make any kind of commitment.  i honestly just don't get it.  but they think that's part of what makes them so cool. 

that, and they drink like fishes, even at ages where drinking like a college student is no longer all that attractive (if it ever is, to be fair).  they have more stories about dumb things they've done under the influence than i've heard in a long time.  like driving 110 mph on the highway, but it was okay because they had a state trooper friend along.  they have nice professional jobs, and they are nice professional people-- except for the partying.  i like a drink, don't get me wrong-- but i'm not at all interested in getting drunk on a regular basis.  or ever, honestly.  apparently, though, that's another part of what makes them so cool.  

i dunno.  i liked them okay, i guess.  there wasn't anything to particularly dislike.  they weren't arrogant or rude, they were funny and friendly and all that.  it was just... i had to laugh, to myself.  my friend c got to talk more than i did, which was fine, because she's the one who met them and got the invite.  i was her plus one, since her husband wasn't in town.  but still.  even she didn't get to speak much.  because they find themselves too terribly amazing.  i think i spoke for all of ten minutes total the whole night, which lasted about five hours.  that's got to be some kind of record for me. 

i'm all for good self-esteem and loving your life.  but i'm also for getting to know other people and sharing your lives together.  apparently for them, that means other people listening to them share. 

at least there was wine. 

johnny-come-latey

friend, i am glad you've discovered doctor who and are loving it so far.  in some ways, you are lucky to be coming in with the newest regenerated doctor eleven, because you don't have to deal with the heartbreak of getting to know and love one just to have them change.  and yet, you are totally missing out as well, because that's part of what makes the doctor--his past incarnations, companions, and adventures. 

so don't think that you, the new viewer, are the reason this show keeps going.  and that you are the best because you are fresh to it and discovering baddies and goodies and other things for the first time that we've known for years.  you are not the reason this show keeps going.  i am. 

me and millions of people who have been following the doctor through time and space for all our lives are.  those of us who grew up fearing the daleks and cybermen, who know the quirks and outfits of all eleven, who have gotten every silly pop-culture reference that pops up in random places all the time.  we're the ones who know and love the doctor, and who keep him alive.  us. 

not you.

welcome to the family, though.  just realise that you are the baby, and you have a lot to learn.  and when this doctor finally regenerates, you'll understand a little more.  but until then, enjoy the show and shut your trap. 

it's not really opinion when it's also true

i have this friend whom i really, truly, deeply love.  he's one of my very best friends, and i would do anything for him.  which meant sitting on the phone, on an international call, for six hours the other night. 

six hours, people.  that's a long time.  and no speaker-phone, either.  my ears still hurt. 

but i love him, so i listened.  over and over and over again.  and said the same things over and over and over again, because they are really the only things i can say. 

see, he's been not taking my advice... and it's come back to bite him.  he now knows he should have listened to me.  i knew wherein i spoke.  twice now that's been proven true.  this third time is by far the worst, and even though he knows i'm right, he still refers to it as my 'opinion' and clings to his own desperate path. 

it will end in more tears, i tell ya.  lots and lots more tears.  i know.  i've been there.

yes, it's about a girl.  and yes, she is the one in the wrong yet with all the power.  and yes, he thinks she is the only one for him ever again and that if this ends then his life ends.  i am not sure that he means that literally, but i know he believes that he'll never love again and will die miserable and alone. 

how do i get him to hear me? i really have been there, in a situation very, very similar to this one.  my ex and this girl could be related, seriously.  and i thought i'd never get over it.  and here i am, a decade later.  but because i didn't let go when i should have, because i let it drag on and on, i was about a gazillion times worse when it did end than i would have been.  and i still feel like a fool about it, because i knew then that i should end it, and didn't.  that i kept hoping, kept giving it one more try, kept thinking that this time would be different.  stupid, stupid me. 

now stupid, stupid friend.  and he just isn't hearing it.  i don't want him to hurt any more than he is now, and that is considerable.  but i also cannot pray for or support his desire for this to continue and somehow work out.  i don't think it will. 

so why won't he do what i say when i've been proven so, so right?  and how do i be a real friend when i think he's an idiot and don't agree with what he wants?

could you make it any more difficult?

if you are going to ask someone to do you the favour of bringing your car to pick you up at the airport, there are a few things you should not do.

first, don't make it so difficult for me to get your keys.  especially when you already live a 40 minute walk or an expensive bus ride away.  and when you have three housemates who won't leave the keys out for me, so that i have to mess up  my lazy saturday earlier than i would like so that i can meet them somewhere in town to get them.  not to mention all the fuss trying to arrange even that with them.

second, don't leave your tank on empty.  it makes me nervous as to whether i'll even make it to the airport in the first place, and that's not nice.  and there is no way i'm going to fill your tank for you. 

third, leave a rag in your car if it is prone to fogging up inside.  it took me forever to get all the water off the inside.  gross. 

at least bringing me goodies back makes up for a wee bit. 

Friends? Really? *raises eyebrow*

i'm on facebook, because really, who isn't these days?  i resisted for a long time, which is another story in itself.  but now i'm totally tuned in and addicted.  it helps me waste lots of time i should be using to be productive.  which is the not-so-good side.  but it does help me keep in touch with friends who are far away, which is good, because i am quite rubbish at keeping in touch with people these days.  i used to be good at it, but that is another story, as well.  so, facebook.  it helps me keep in touch, to know what's going on with people and to be able to write just a few words to let them know i'm thinking about them, without feeling guilty for sending an email with just a few words.  plus, it's put me back in touch with people i had wondered about for years but had no idea how or where to find them.  long lost friends found.  it's a beautiful thing. 

but those aren't the problem.  the problem is this:  friend requests from people with whom i either parted with on unfriendly terms, or with whom i was never friends in the first place.  so we went to the same high school-- big deal.  there were more than 400 people just in my graduating class.  that doesn't make us all friends.  sure, i might know your name.  i might possibly be able to make small talk with you if we ever happen to run into each other.  but would i go out of my way to speak to you?  would i definitely recognise you?  would i care what you've been up to for the past number of years?  no.  because we weren't friends.  i had friends in high school;  i wasn't one of the loners.  and i knew a lot more people than i would consider my friends-- acquantainces, i guess.  i know some people just like racking up as many friends as they can, to show they are still cool... or to look cool now when they weren't then.  but seriously, people-- what's the point?  if i never talked with you, hung out with you, cared about the details of your life then, why would i now?  and vice versa-- if you didn't care about me then, why should i care about you now?  it's ridiculous.  i. don't. care. 

and if you are using a name that you didn't have when i knew you, how am i even going to know if i know you or not?  i just get a request from 'sasquatch pingu' or whatever it may be, how the hell am i supposed to know that it is really my best friend from seventh grade or whatever?  especially when you don't have a photo of yourself.  c'mon people.  personal note to say, hey, it's so-and-so, i'm married and changed my name.  that would help. 

then there are those people who i would have considered friends once, but are not any longer.  i have one request sitting there right now, because i can't figure out what to do about it.  yes, we went to college together for two years.  yes, for part of that time i considered you a friend.  but you talked about me behind my back, told my secrets, embarrassed me, hurt me, made fun of me... and you expected that i would want to be your friend?  we stopped being friends back then, or didn't you notice?  and you think that just because time has passed, i've forgotten how you treated me?  or that it doesn't matter?  or maybe you have a different view of that reality?  i don't know.  i can't decide if it's worth writing to you to tell you off about it, or just to ignore your request, or accept it to see what you're up to and then delete you?  i can't make up my mind.  but really, what makes you think i want to be your friend? 

we. are. not. friends. 

not even virtual ones.  sheesh.